Review: Artemis Fowl


Review: Artemis Fowl

Hello, Everybody! I'm Santiago Brion and this is my review of Disney's Artemis Fowl directed by Kenneth Branagh.

This movie was... really bad. I hated it, I didn't enjoy this at all.

I couldn't even follow the story. It's about a 12-year-old smart-ass named well... Artemis Fowl whose father was kidnapped by a mythical creature named Opal Koboi(a missed opportunity) who plans to wipe out of all humankind. 

This movie lacked everything in the highest degree! Plot holes, bad humor, a waste of a talented cast, bad visual effects, a convoluted story y'know THE WORKS!! Seriously, if you're going to deal with a troll, why not when you're done wiping memories on all of the wedding guests, you clean up after yourselves!! JEEZ! I never knew fairies can be so DAMN sloppy! Josh Gad's character, Mulch Diggums claims that he's a giant dwarf, but he never explains why. Even Haven City looked like SHIT! Like... GODDAMN!! And how dare you put Dame Judi Dench in a terrible movie like this one! First Cats now this?!

If you're going to adapt a Children's Fantasy book or try to start a franchise from one, you need to have a plan how the story can be told on the big screen, if your movie isn't going to be faithful to the books, you're just going to piss everyone off. This was another attempt at being the next Harry Potter. I get that Disney wanted to start a new franchise with this and they did the best that they could, but it just did not work. 

I knew that this movie was going to suck because it was in production for 20 years and Asa Butterfield was attached to play the titular character but eventually dropped out because he was too old for the part and the casting of Holly Short gained a lot of criticism due to the fact that in the book, she's described as having "nut-brown skin of a coffee complexion" and the actress who played her, Lara McDonnell was white and English and the character of Dom was also criticized. In the book, Dom is described as Eurosian who passed as Japanese and Russian, in the movie he's black. Dom was basically a "Black Servant" stereotype. Which is insulting because African-Americans shouldn't be used as a stereotype! There was also the fact that Kenneth Branagh's remake of Murder on the Orient Express was a disappointment. I hope Death on the Nile will improve on its predecessor. Hopefully, this will be the last time that Kenneth Branagh has ever directed a fantasy movie.

I would give this movie a 1 out of 5 stars. 

Thanks for reading, be sure to comment below.




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